Basic Truths about the Family by Pastor Faith Oyedepo

Topic: Basic Truths about the Family

Dear Reader,

Happy Prosperous New Year! You are welcome back to Family Life. 2014 is gone, a new year has just began for you. You shall never have a better last year in Jesus’ name! The Word of God says: Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold! I will do a new thing (Isaiah 43:18-19).

Forget about all your past failures, past prayerlessness, weakness, spiritual laziness, etc. This New Year, you need to position yourself for new things; as you do that, the new things of God will not pass you by.

This month, we shall be looking at the above topic to begin the New Year. Today, we shall be discussing the topic, ‘Marriage Is For Good, Better And Best’

Marriage Is For Good, Better And Best

Marriage is not a trap. It was instituted for the good of man. In the beginning, God saw that it is not good for man to be alone, so He instituted marriage. And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). I believe God must have said to himself, “I want it to be good for man, so I will make him an help meet for him.” Marriage was designed to make life great for mankind.

We understand that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of lights (James 1:17). Therefore, marriage should make a man move up on the ladder of progress. It should take him from good to better, from better to best, and from best to the point of perfection in life. There is always a place called forward, which you must strive to get to (Exodus 14:15).

Many are scared of entering into marriage, because they see it as an instrument of stagnation. Marriage is meant to advance, increase and promote one. It is not a necessary evil, as you may have heard and probably believed. Rather, it is designed to make life complete for you. A bachelor may say, “But life is good for me now.” No matter the kind of wonderful experience you may be having now, hear what the Bible says: Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Marriage provides you an opportunity for better living! I used to be scared by certain marriage vows I hear couples chant on their wedding day. They say such things as, “I so and so get into wedlock with you, for better for worse, in sickness and health.” I saw the ignorance of the officiating priest and the intending couples as they chant the so-called marriage vows, because marriage is not designed to be “for better for worse”, but “for better for best!”

As far as God is concerned, marriage is for better living. That is why Deuteronomy 32:30 says: How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight? Jesus reiterated this: Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 18:19). This must be why God instructs husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, so that their prayers be not hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

Marriage provides a covenant platform for effectual prayer. Whatever a couple agrees upon in prayer, is done for them. Marriage gives you access to double victory, as a couple can put ten thousand to flight. Also, when one party is cold, the other is available to warn him up. When one is down, the other will lift him up. The ultimate in marriage is for the best in life, and you will get there.

For Better Living
Marriage was instituted for better living for mankind. It is not to bring hurts or constitute a hindrance. Let us take a look at the Amplified Version of the Bible in Genesis 2:18. Now the Lord God said, it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

The kind of help God intended marriage to provide, is one that is suitable, adaptable and complementary, and it is expected to cover all areas of life.

Spiritually
Spiritually, God expects you to be a positive influence on your spouse, so that you can both press on to greater spiritual heights.

A man who does not care about the spiritual state of his wife is not helping her. Perhaps he discovers that her spiritual life is not what it used to or should be. Probably, she is weak in prayer, in studying the Word and other spiritual matters. He shouldn’t just fold his hands unconcerned, watching her life deteriorate. Such a husband is not a help-meet.

A husband who, rather than help his wife to stay spiritually vibrant, concentrates on himself alone, is selfish. He should know that at the end of the day, what will happen can be likened to the effect of the force of gravity on an object that is thrown up. Very soon, the object will stop going up and start coming down. A wife who is spiritually weak can pull down her spiritual-giant of a husband, and vice verse.

So, as you strive to grow in the things of God, make sure you go along with your spouse. That way, two will be better than one, because they are both working towards the same spiritual goal.

Socially
God expects couples to also help one another socially. For instance, due to your partner’s background, he or she may not know certain social manners, such as table manners, matching colours, appropriate dressing codes for various occasions, etc. It is your responsibility to educate your spouse on them. The essence of marriage is for couples to help each other.

Financially
God expects a husband and wife to be financially transparent to one another. They should not keep things away from each other, especially when it concerns money matters.
In some cultures, the men believe that it is a shameful thing for their wives to know how much they earn. But the truth is, if you hide your earning from your wife, she will definitely make demands that are beyond your means, as he doesn’t know how much you earn. You have to make up your mind, whether to hold on to culture or to hold on to the Word of God.

Some women also believe that their husbands alone are responsible for providing for the home. They will even quote Scriptures to back up this belief. No wonder, when such women earn their own money, they hide it from their husbands, and make them pay for everything in the home.
Wife, don’t keep your money for the purpose of buying the latest clothes, shoes and headgear in town only. You make yourself look like a prostitute, when you give your husband your body, but cannot give him your money. Couples are expected to help each other in every area of life. They are expected to give succour to each other. Be honest with one another, so that your marriage can last. Remember, whatever money you have belongs to both of you. Money has put many homes asunder; don’t let it put yours asunder.

Mentally
Adam wasn’t created a dunce. He was created an intelligent being. How else could he have given names to all the animals in the Garden of Eden, if his mind was not active and alive? The names he gave to those animals are what they still bear today.

1 Corinthians 2:16 tells us: But we have the mind of Christ. God created you with a sound mind. So, in marriage, both the man and the woman are supposed to be mentally sound and alive. Marriage is meant to improve you mentally. The Scripture says two are better than one. So, when a sound mind comes in contact with another sound mind in marriage, the two of them will enter a better realm of living.

Before taking decisions about the home, a husband and wife should first reason things together. Place facts side by side, considering the benefits and the deficits, before taking a decision. That way, they will be able to take better decisions (Isaiah 1:18).

Physically
Husband and wife are expected to be helpers of one another physically also. Husband, your wife will definitely sometimes require your masculine attributes, to help her get some physical tasks accomplished. Maybe you are moving to a new apartment, and there are some heavy items to be moved. Your wife needs your muscles at such times. Do not absent yourself at such times, in the name of being busy in the office. Be available to help her!

Wife, there will be times when your husband will need your feminine, nature to get things done. For example, he may need you to help massage his legs, back or body after a very busy day at work. Don’t claim to be very busy in the kitchen or with the children. Please, be available. Somebody once said, “Men are boys in trousers.” Remember, marriage is meant for better living. Your marriage will keep moving, until you get to the best of God in Jesus’ name.

In case you have never given your life to Jesus, you are not born again. There is no way you can have a better living, without Christ Who instituted marriage. This comes by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That is what being born again is all about. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my Sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores:

• Marriage Covenant
• Making Marriage Work
• Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).